11.27.2006

the true meaning of christmas...


my pets have the christmas spirit already. which is "share or i'll scratch you." poley is a short-hair dog, he should be thankful for a kitty to warm his arse!

a post in which the bobeara gets philosophical...

i'm trying to be a dedicated blogger. all of my kids are asleep but here i am typing as fast as i possibly can. i KNOW that within 30 seconds someone is going to wake up. it works that way whenever i start typing on the computer or i fall asleep. like murphy's law, only maybe call it the mommy law.

i've spent quite a bit of time trying to put some christmas music on my ipod. for some reason my computer is really slow at importing everything. it used to be pretty fast but then i upgraded to itunes who-knows-what-version and now it takes forever. but the neat part is that i'm listening to the nutcracker ballet (courtesy of the philadelphia orchestra :)) and i had forgotten how much i love it.

the last few days i've had a bit of a stuggle. i'm not really religous...i never was required to go to church as a child and don't really understand how someone can just have blind faith that the whole god thing really exists. however, now i'm a mom and it's amazing how helpless i feel at times raising these kids. when reese is at school or on the bus, i'm constantly hoping that if the teachers/bus drivers aren't watching out for her welfare, then somebody of a higher power hopefully is. and at least 5x a day, i'm thankful for our health..and the health of our family. but i really don't know who i'm thanking...all the religious types would immediately answer with 'god', but i hate to actually say that yes, i'm praying/thanking a god whom i've never really worshipped. it's like i'm asking for his/her care without putting any real effort into it.

ANYWAY, now that it's the christmas season, reese wants to know what all these christmas songs are about. not just rudolph and frosty, those she can figure out on her own. i'm talking about 'away in a manger' and 'silent night.' one of the christmas books i bought her the other day had a version of the birth of jesus in it (it was actually ok with me, seemed appropriate for her age, maybe a little older). but i just cringe everytime jesus or god might come up in conversation with her. maybe by not talking more about it, i'm doing more harm than not. i guess i'm raising her to be a good person, period. i don't think you have to be a devout bible-thumping person to have a good afterlife.

weird that i'm thinking about this. it's all because of silvia browne. she's really got me thinking...enough so that i've programmed my tivo to record montel on wednesdays. that and i've been unbelievably fortunate to have ignored this issue for so long, all of my friends and family are healthy and still walking around.

i really need to discuss this with rob. rob is even less religious than me, his mother was buddhist and his dad was...um...from st. louis. i have no clue what his dad impressed upon him as far as religion. i think rob is of the same opinion as me, that just being a good person and a KIND person is enough to make a good life.

holy moly, i got more than 30 seconds there, didn't i? although i hear baby elisha starting to wake. she's an angel, by the way. she's gotten so she's only waking up around 3 or 4am, nursing and going back to sleep. i wish my boobs would accept this new schedule though, i've woken up the last few nights really engorged.

anyway, here's a shot of the tree this year. and yes, it's huge. like huge enough that it's a pain in the ass. but those little white lights make me feel all warm inside.

my shopping has been started. reese is done, my mom is 1/2 done. i still have my dad, my bro & sis in law, rob, and cade. and elisha. but does a 4 month old really need presents? i bought a peanut shell sling to tote her around and i think that may be her xmas present. she's the one getting a free ride, after all.

and i'm working on cards already...bought letter paper and stamps today. i'm mentally composing the christmas letter already. it's been a busy year!

11.26.2006

holiday blather

welcome to the christmas season. the OFFICIAL christmas season. it is after thanksgiving and now the world has my approval to start decorating and shopping and being christmasy. it was hard to hold out, with us having a 4 year old who asks at least once a day when christmas will be, but we made it.

we put up the tree the day after thanksgiving. it was a 7pm affair, meaning the baby cried the whole time, cade was whiney & tired, and reese was hyperactive and bouncing around (i think she thought that since the tree was going up, the big day was soon to follow). so we put up the tree, turned on the twinkle lights and then started bathtime. i was not going to put up all those glass ornaments with kids whining and crying and bouncing around me.

we had to rearrange our entire living room. with all the baby stuff, floor space is really getting tight, and i think our tree is just TOO DAMN BIG. we bought a new tree last year and of course we had to get a BIG tree. we chose a 7.5 foot prelit tree (made in china, of course. i just found the tag on the tree yesterday and snipped it off!) from home depot. now i'm wishing we would have gotten a charlie brown style tree instead. not only is this tree tall but it's wide. thank god we're leaving for christmas, i don't think our house could hold the tree AND presents under it.

i wasn't sure i wanted to even put up the tree at all, since we are going to my parents' house for the holiday. one of those 'more trouble than it's worth' things. but then all that turkey on thanksgiving kind of put me in the holiday mood. and now the tree has it's own half of the living room :)

the ornaments went up saturday morning, while daddy & cade were gone. elisha was snoozing and so it was just reese & me. reese was still bouncing around, does she ever stop?? but we got all the ornaments up...and in more than one part of the tree. reese was trying to hang every ornament i gave her on the same branch. this is the first year that she's really been allowed to even touch the ornaments, so it's a learning experience for her. but next year, she better remember to space them out evenly, dangit.

i think thanksgiving dinner went really well. it was just us, but i went ahead and got a turkey and all the side dishes that go along with it. the turkey was delicious (thank you butterball!) and my pie turned out beautifully (thank you pilsbury roll out dough!). the stuffing wasn't so good, in fact i may just not make it next year. it doesn't stay warm and no one eats it (sorry, stove top). we had corn this year because my husband refuses to eat vegetables except corn and he's passed this preferece to our children. i would have loved to have some fattening green bean casserole, but i know i would have had the whole dish to myself...and even that *might* be too much green bean casserole for one person. my rolls were perfect (thank you better homes & garden cookbook!) and my cranberry jello salad was yummy (thank you allrecipes.com).

the best part: i bought a big turkey just so we could have leftovers...which rob refuses to eat, so they're ALL mine! woohoo! the experts say that all leftovers should be consumed or thrown away within 3-4 days after thanksgiving, and we're right on schedule. everything is gone except for the turkey and i'm due to have yet another yummy turkey sandwich (extra mustard) for lunch today.

my to do list for today:
  • put some holiday music on my ipod
  • figure out why our humidifier isn't working (both cade & elisha have the 'crud'...lots of snot and lots of phlegmy coughing :( thank god for vapo-rub!)
  • fold the 3 loads of laundry that are waiting for me. sigh. they're all baby/kid clothes and those loads take forever to fold. actually, i should be doing that right now while elisha is dozing. ooops
  • hit walmart (milk & maybe a new humidifier), linens & things (yankee candle plug ins, i can't handle the yankee candle outlet today), and bath & body works (looking for a gift for a friend)
  • wait for elisha to have a blowout. she didn't have a dirty diaper yesterday so i know it's just a matter of time. i even dressed her in another sleeper this morning so it'd be easier to clean up.
that's about it. oh, and think about holiday cards. i haven't bought them, written or thought about the holiday letters, tried to take pictures of the kids to include in them, bought stamps for them, printed off return address labels for them...geez, i should probably start thinking more about them! christmas is exactly a month away!

11.12.2006

a nap you say?

greetings!

first things first...yes, the baby has arrived. whew! if not, that would be the world's longest pregnancy!

elisha brooke was born on the very last day of august. officially 6 days overdue by the ultrasound's dating, right on time for fertility friend dating, and one day early for my own dating. i had hoped for a september baby for some reason.

my water broke around 8pm on the 30th of august, just as we were tucking the kids into bed. rob was convinced i needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible, which meant dragging the kids along with us. i was having very few contractions so the doc was ok with me staying at home. if i hadn't gone before then, she wanted us at the hospital at 7am.

so the kids went to bed and i called grandma & grandpa, who were still on the road. they had left a few days earlier to make the trek from iowa to connecticut in order to be here when the baby arrived. g&g were still in NY state and were looking for a place to stop for the night. when i told them that my water broke, they got back on the interstate and drove as fast as 2 old farts can drive that late at night.

meanwhile, i tried to relax and get some rest but i had a few contractions coming here & there and it was more comfortable to be up and moving around. and since it was such a surprise to have my water break, of course the house was a mess. so i spent an hour cleaning it, mostly the kitchen...and then cleaning up 'drips' on the floor where my towels leaked through. the smell of amniotic fluid is one that you don't forget. wierd.

g&g arrived around 12:30am, bleary but here. whew. now we had childcare secured and i could at least not worry about that. i know that when we were sitting around talking, my contractions really started hurting a bit. maybe b/c i could relax now that g&g were here?

i showed grandma around a little upstairs so she would be familiar in the morning with where stuff was (we had switched the kids' rooms since their last visit). reese woke up mid-tour and gave grandma some hugs, then she went back to sleep.

then we all settled in for some sleep around 2am, g&g on the airmattress in the living room and rob and i in bed...with a garbage bag and some towels under me. i think i used up all the spare towels we had.

i was actually able to get some rest, but woke up around 4am, with contrax a little more painful. i took a shower and got cade back to sleep, then woke rob up at 6 so we could be at the hospital by 7. reese woke up to tell us goodbye, but cade woke up right before we were leaving and i didn't see any alternative but to sneak out the back door. i was starting to be in real pain (stopping in order to deal with contrax) and i didn't want to deal with his meltdown when he saw us drive away. (turns out he went back to sleep in our bed after whining a bit, then came down later and was a perfect angel! no way!)

for some reason rob thought we were taking his low-riding acura to the hospital, and started to load up the trunk. but i was intent on the minivan. no way did i want to struggle out of the acura when we got to the hospital. so after a brief squabble, we were on our way. i wish men could experience just 10 minutes of active labor...they would understand what we mean when we say SLOW DOWN and NO BUMPS. sudden turns and potholes and short stops just irritate the hell out of me when i'm in excruiciating pain. go figure. :/

we made it to the hospital and we walked up to the maternity ward. they had a room waiting for us and my doc was already there, which was a relief. i didn't have to go to triage or wait for anything. (i have a feeling that this delivery was one my doc's first ones, she seemed to be a young ob/gyn and she was new at the practice, maybe that's why she was there before i was...either way, it was reassuring!)

i got changed into the lovely hospital gown and the belly belt and then went back into our room. they hooked up the monitors to my belly (i didn't remember this, i had to ask rob if they had monitors on me at all) and checked me. i was at 6 cm and it was about 7:15am.

with it being just after 7am, we were dealing with the nurse's shift change. add to the fact that it was a really busy morning in the ward, and things were a little hectic. my first nurse was anne and i can just say how thankful i am that she got reassigned to another patient. i remember she had really strong perfume, and a poor bedside manner (trying to find a vein for an IV during a contrax and telling me to 'relax my hand'...not going to work, honey. bah!), and a mustache. i shit you not, she had to have been grooming that thing. it was way too long to NOT see when she looked in the mirror.

thank goodness she was sent somewhere else and we got a new nurse, whose name i've suddenly blanked on. but she was such a blessing...quiet voice, had tons of advice for helping deal with the pain, and she really made the experience special.

i decided i wanted to go with an epidural, the pain was so bad at this point i didn't even want to open my eyes. so they got the doc in to do that and by the time they had gone over all the possible things that could go wrong, i had the nurse check me one more time and i was at 9cm.

i really thought it was too late for an epi, so i sent the epi doc on his way. i felt bad for wasting his time and opening all those sterile-wrapped packages but i really didn't think i could sit still enough to have them insert the needle...or that it would take effect in time. maybe it would have and i could have had a more controlled birth...or a birth that i remember more about. who knows.

so i knew when the epi guy left that i was going natural. it wasn't long after he left that i started wimpering with contrax. right after that started happening, both the nurse and doc said that i could push with a contrax if i wanted to. at that point, i did want to, it felt better than just laying there in pain.

rob was there, but i don't even remember him while i was pushing. no clue what he said during contrax or even what he said when elisha was born. i think i pushed for 10 or 15 minutes? it didn't seem like long at all, but geez, the pain seemed worse than with cade. at one point (i think when she was crowning), i remember throwing my head back in my pillows and yelling, 'i can't breathe, i can't breathe.' but rob said that the doctor just told me 'now sarah, take a deep breath and push.' and i did. and then elisha was born. 8:32am on 8/31 (a thursday). funny, both of my girls were born in the early morning...reese was 8:06 on a saturday.

when they put her on my belly, i just remember saying over and over 'thank you, thank you, thank you.' not sure who i was thanking...as non-religious as i like to think i am, i think i was thanking god...for giving me this baby and for making the pain STOP.

elisha weighed in at 8 lbs, 13 oz and 21.5". she was quiet at birth, just like reese, but then started crying after a few moments (cade was a screamer...and still is a screamer). amazing how similar the girls are, even their baby pictures look so much alike. i had a 2nd degree tear and the doc didn't numb me up enough for those stitches, but i survived.

we didn't decide on her name til right before we left the hospital the next day. we had to wait around for the birth certificate lady before we could be discharged, so elisha brooke it was. with reese & cade we've chosen their names for family relevance, or background of the name. with elisha...there's no good reason for her name, other than that we like it. and reese has told us several times what a good name that is for a baby :)

we only stayed in the hospital one night and came home around 5pm the day after she was born. frankly, i was bored in the hospital. the first few nights weren't easy, but i didn't expect them to be. rob had 2 weeks off from work (wow, pretty generous for the navy!) and g&g stayed for another week. nursing was rough here & there but now it's all routine. she still gets picky about her latch but she's gaining just fine, averaging about a lb a month and growing an inch a month.

her first round of shots at 2 months of age were rough on me, but she had no reactions at all during the following days...and i *think* she's teething, can you believe it? she's chewing on her hands constantly and she has little bumps on her lower gums. she hates tummy time, she'll barely lift her head 1/2 an inch off the ground, she prefers to turn her head to suck on her hands. but she loves to sit up and look around, that's probably when she's most alert. even when she's up on my shoulder, she kind of slumps into my shoulder most of the time. maybe she's just going to be a cuddly girl.

the older 2 are doing ok. reese has preschool to distract her from issues at home and cade's new hobby is throwing tantrums anytime mommy tries to tell him what to do. arg. i sure hope he grows out of this...it's getting worse and worse every day it seems. i think today he had 2 tantrums before breakfast.

rob is gone right now too, that doesn't make it any easier. october was spent with him working from around 6am til 8pm at night, in training and studying. and right before halloween he went on an underway to complete the onboard section of the course. he'll be home on the 21st, only 8 more days.

i can't wait til he gets home, i am prioritizing some time for myself. i want to paint my toenails, finish my book, and take a NAP. even if it's with elisha, i want a NAP. can't wait for my NAP. wonder if i can get a NAP wrapped up for christmas and put it under the tree for myself? hmmmm...